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How to be unforgettable in 3 steps!

la-habana-su-genteDeep down we all have that longing for permanence, we would love to be remembered and to leave a legacy and of course we all would like to be remembered for the good things that we did. Let’s be honest, doesn’t that teenage question come back to haunt you from time to time? Yeah the one that, before reaching twenty, tortured you and created stress, anxiety and even drove you nuts, the question of what is my life about? What is the purpose of being here? What justifies my existence and my daily efforts?

I believe the reason it comes back to haunt you is because may be you have been evading the answer. As we grow we find things that seem to answer the question and we adopt them: “it is about having a family and about providing the best for them”, “it is about creating a successful and rewarding professional career”, “it is about being a mother and making sure that my children grow up to good and successful adults”,  “it is about taking care of my parents and ensuring they have a good life for the remainder of their time”, “it is about making this organization grow and becoming a great thing”.

May be it is about being successful and happy, happy and successful; at the end the definition of happiness is as subjective as there are people breathing on earth.

I don’t know if this will help you answer the question but I believe there are 3 easy steps to become unforgettable.

  1. Understand that you are an entertainer. Do you want to be remembered? Be funny, everybody likes and remembers a person that makes them laugh. It doesn’t mean that you have the best jokes, but it means that you have such a fresh attitude for life and enjoy every moment with a genuine quest for fun, for laughter. Have and make others have an enjoyable moment. It is not a secret that the “entertainers” are the most attractive people possessing an enviable energy that we want to keep close and that we will remember.
  2. Be a contributor. Do you remember those who have been key contributors to your life? Of course you do, they might have helped with money in tough times, with their time when you needed help, with their knowledge or expertise, with their advise or with their concern and understanding. They imprinted a lasting memory in your mind by contributing to your life, the same way you imprint an undeletable memory when you contribute to somebody’s life. And yes life is a transaction, the more you give, the more you get, but sometimes we are so concerned with our own well being, so fearful to survive or live at the level that we want that we forget this rule. Contributors are not only always remembered; at the end they are the ones that receive more.
  3. Be sensitive. We like and respect those who care, and we remember when we had problems and a good friend or relative shared our pain, his suffering was expressed in ideas, advice, may be tears, a helping hand trying to relieve the pain we were in. And as we go through our pains and lows in life we will always remember those who lend just sensitive time through holding our hand, giving us a hug or a shoulder to cry for a while.

If you want to be unforgettable for your teacher, for your kids, for your partner, for your company, for that person you are trying to conquer, for your friends; I am sure this 3-step formula will help your cause.

Remember you are an entertainer, laugh and make laugh; you are a contributor give as much as you can; and be sensitive, always have time for compassion, a genuine desire for other’s happiness.

If your daily mantra is: I am going to have a good time for myself and others, I am going to be a top contributor today and I will be compassionate; I believe you might be answering the question what is my life about? What is the purpose of being here? And if not, at least you will have a heck of a good time while you find the answer.

Guillermo Mendoza guillermo@speakerforsuccess.com (832)334-3583

“Transforming organizations by energizing your people and getting results.”

Guillermo’s authentic style and insight engages audiences to make the changes necessary to create transformations in their organizations and lives.

Available for international engagements in: English, Spanish or Portuguese.

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2 Key Steps to Manage Your Predicaments

a-better-life-654x3791I am a firm believer of goals, plans and actions, I am convinced that if I have not gotten something in life, it is because I have not had the discipline to implement a good plan to get it, I think that is empowering. But I also recognize that sometimes some of our energy gets lost on trying to change something that will not change.

 

We have so many popular phrases or sayings to help us accept things and be complacent, like: “Everything is as it should be”, or “Things happen for a reason”, or “It is God’s will”. I am not discarding any of these; actually I think all of them are pretty valid and true.

 

Where I believe we fail is when we do not have a firm position, of either accepting it or fighting it, switching back and forth between I will do something and there is nothing to do will not help your cause. When we face challenges or difficult situations in our life we need to start handling them with a clear and definite assessment: Can this be changed? Can I do something about it?

 

Instead of asking (and answering those questions) sometimes we start the useless dance between frustration, anxiety and impotence; and worriedness, sadness and low energy action. But the better formula to solve your predicaments is to follow, with firm conviction, these 2 elements: acceptance and action.

 

Can this be changed? If the answer is no then acceptance is your word: “Everything is as it should be”, or “Things happen for a reason”, or “It is God’s will”, stop fighting the situation and accept that it is what it is.  Now you are not off the hook, your acceptance action is to start thinking if you want to stay in that unchangeable situation or what things you can do in the future to be able to answer “Yes, it can be changed”, only then will you be able to stop acceptance and move to the next question.

 

Can I do something about it? If the answer is no, same situation, acceptance is your word and exactly the same process applies, your acceptance action is to start thinking on what are the things that you can change in yourself to be able to do something about it?, only when you can answer “Yes, I can do something about it” you are ready for real action. If it can change and if you can change it, then you now have all of the power, no more acceptance, it is about goal, plan and disciplined execution.

 

Now this is the tricky part, our present moment, our changing reality is never a standing still moment, think about it, the second you are living your present it becomes the past and your next second arrives from the future with your new present, in a blink of an eye.

 

Top performers, leaders, achievers, champions, enlightened fulfilled beings are those that manage to split every second of their precious moments in life in 2 parts: the present moment where they accept everything is as it should be, and the present moment where assessing the situation they take action to think, talk or act with whatever is needed to create better futures.

 

May be the skill to split a second is going to take you some time, but a good beginning is to start splitting your challenges, problems, predicaments in two parts: acceptance and action.

 

“Transforming organizations by energizing your people and getting results.”

Guillermo Mendoza is a business development strategist, speaker and writer. He is passionate about sharing the tools and experiences that he has helping executive leaders and their teams by creating consciousness, developing leadership and getting results.

Available for international engagements in: English, Spanish or Portuguese.

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How to let go of fear of new beginnings?

recomenzarEvery time we start a new project we have the excitement of what it implies: new challenges, new experiences, new horizons; but we also have the anxiety that stems from being afraid of the unknown, success, uncertainty and fear of failure.

 

There is a natural reaction in the mind to travel to the future and imagine everything that this new adventure will give us if we are successful, maybe financial benefits, maybe improved relationships, maybe a sense of accomplishment, maybe a new physical look, or the peace that comes from solving a problem or reaching a goal.

 

This reaction takes us to focus more on the things that we are missing and that in theory when we accomplish this new project we will get.

 

What we do not always think about in these cases is what we already have, what we already are. Our eagerness of continuous improvement or growth takes us to sometimes focus too much on what is coming and not giving time to review what already happened.

 

Great philosophers and mystical teachers have declared that we are already perfect, that things are already as they should be and that the only thing we are missing is an understanding of these concepts. Without attempting to play philosopher with these concepts, I believe we always want and should improve, I think it is unavoidable that our mind travels to the future and imagines things and thoughts of a better life in one way or other. But I also think it is important to understand that by definition improvement is to take something from one state to another, but that does not imply that the current state is bad.

 

In Coaching we say that a Coach helps a person to find a better version of him or her, we do not say to find a good version implying that the current one is bad. Actually the opposite is happening, more and more Executive and Life Coaching are focusing on improving someone that is already pretty good.

 

It is important to use this concept and realize that when we start new projects even when the goal is improvement (I do not think anybody starts a project to be worse at something); it is very important to remember that we are already ok, that our current situation whatever it is, is a privileged one because we have a life to work with and achieve what we want, because we have roots and family that with all its virtues and defects is a part of us and because every day no matter where we are, we are already here with plenty to be grateful for.

 

The list is endless, from basic things that we take for granted like energy and water or clothing and meals that are not that granted for many people, to the privilege of education, reading, and personal growth. And lets not forget the most important, our relationships with all the people that we love and that love us back or with those that we consider distant but help us or give us a chance to help.

 

A fast review of the past gives you all the elements to realize how fortunate you are and how even the worse things in your life have given you the greatest learning and how today your strengths come from those sufferings.

 

When I reflect on all of this I cannot avoid having a profound gratitude for what I already have and for what I already am, regardless of what I am going to do or be.

 

Every day we are creating a new version of ourselves, every day we are a different person, every day our projects move us forward, but lets not forget where we are already.

 

If you achieve a true satisfaction in what you already have and are, I believe you will be getting one of the best ingredients to achieve something new: the security that you are already good and the confidence that you can be better. With this ingredient there are no failures, no fears because whatever happens with the project you have the awareness that it is all about improving something that is already good: you.

 

All anxiety, all uncertainty and all fear that implies starting something will diminish when you internalize the satisfaction of knowing you are lucky here and now.

 

My best wishes for your 2014 projects and as you start them remember: “You are ok, you are already lucky with what you have and what you are, gratitude and satisfaction are your starting point”

 

“Transforming organizations by energizing your people and getting results.”

Guillermo Mendoza is a business development strategist, speaker and writer. He is passionate about sharing the tools and experiences that he has helping executive leaders and their teams by creating consciousness, developing leadership and getting results.

Available for international engagements in: English, Spanish or Portuguese.

Guillermo Mendoza guillermo@icscoaching.com (832)334-3583

 

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How to be successful in 2014!

My name is Guillermo Mendoza and I am the speaker for success, I dubbed myself that way because my vision is to help as many people as I can to succeed. As most things success is subjective and it is different for each person, but whether you want success in your career, relationships, job, business, child raising or love, it is always about having that nice feeling of accomplishment and self fulfillment, that grin on your face silently congratulating yourself for how good you are, how success decided to be a part of you.

We all have our success formulas, our definition of what works and what does not, and they are engrained as part of our opinions, thoughts and belief system, and wrongly sometimes we believe that by using our “secret weapon” we will be ahead of others and achieve that success. The irony is that it is precisely the opposite that creates more success. Those who became an open book and share their tricks helping others are seen as the experts, the gurus, the ones that know how to tackle a specific problem and help others with success by coaching, counseling, mentoring, speaking, writing; by being available and making their knowledge available.

I cannot think of a more successful way to start the year than to establish our success goals with the discipline in mind of what it would take to become a success. Any new endeavor will require resources of time, may be money, effort and of course a perseverant attitude to reach success. But for success to happen, a good strategy is required and my proposal for your 2014 strategy is to be available and make your knowledge available.

We all have our tricks, our “secret weapons”, and our proven techniques that for this or that have given us success in the past. Review what you did, what you said, what you thought when you were being successful and share it; help others to succeed and by a weird chain reaction you will become more successful.

I consider it selfish not to share our success formulas and selfishness is not a good way to start the New Year don’t you think? Embrace the art of sharing your knowledge and the even better art of sharing your help, your encouragement, and your love; and believe me life will pay you back by sharing success with you.

“Transforming organizations by energizing your people and getting results.”

Guillermo Mendoza is a business development strategist, speaker and writer. He is passionate about sharing the tools and experiences that he has helping executive leaders and their teams by creating consciousness, developing leadership and getting results.

Available for international engagements in: English, Spanish or Portuguese.

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5 Things To Beat The Fear Of Public Speaking (The Short Version)

How to stop competing and win.

I have always been a runner, I love it because running does not depend on having a field to play, having a team or getting a bunch of people organized to go play. I dislike it because it requires extreme discipline, nobody is waiting for you, not your team not the other team just the park, the streets, the roads.

I love it also because some time ago it gave me one of the best lessons I have had in life: how to stop competing and win! I know it sounds weird, to win you have to compete, everybody knows that. And in the occidental culture we have mastered education based on competition. I remember my parents telling me to get the best grades at school and pushing me to win at the sports where I participated; I confess that to a good degree I did the same with my kids.

Then college and jobs keep pushing us to “beat the competition” so we get the best from the world. As most of us develop working for profitable organizations or start our companies we continue that frenzy idea of winning. Winning the client, winning the sale and winning the market. And don’t get me wrong winning is nice, it feels good to be the champion, it feels great to be number 1. But as you will see it can be not a goal but a nice result.

Running gave me a secret formula to win without competing or at least not competing in the traditional way. I must have been in my 20’s when a new runner’s club in my city was promoting its membership, the sports director was an Olympic athlete that competed in the 5,000 and 10,000 meters at the Moscow Olympics in 1980, and one of the requisites to join the club was to have an interview with him.

Up to that point I have not had any formal athletic training to improve my running I was used to just put on my sneakers, shorts, t-shirt and start running, no technique at all; and I was thrilled with the idea of joining the club and get formal training to improve because I knew I might win.

It was the interview that gave me the greatest lesson; I met Enrique Aquino, Olympic athlete, coach and technical director of the runner’s club. He began the interview by asking me why I wanted to join the club.

–          “I love running and I had never had formal training I would like to become a better runner”

–          “And why do you want to become a better runner?”

–          “I would like to start competing in some races like 5k, 10k or even marathons”

–          “And why do you want to become better to compete in those races?”

I paused, a little surprised with the question and I answered “to win of course, to win the races!” in my mind there was no space for other reason to become better than compete to win.

Enrique answered as politely as he could: “well, you won’t win, let me explain, there is a type of runner called an elite runner; elite runners wake up in the morning and train, eat, run, rest, train again, eat every 4 hours including at night, then rest, run, train and eat again, running is their job, profession and passion, and those are the ones that win the races; for the rest of the runners that we call recreational runners, yes they do participate in races and seem to be competing against each other but they are not, every runner has something called his or her PR, personal record, that is the best time that they have achieved in their running history and they are not competing against other runners they are competing against their PR, so let’s say they did 40 minutes in their last 10k race, they are training and pushing themselves to do 39 minutes and 55 seconds the next time, reducing 5 seconds might be a lot of work and training but they win when they beat their PR, beating another runner does not mean as much.”

Now that I know that coaching is about getting a better version of ourselves, I cannot find a better story than this to communicate the importance of defining our PR in the activities that we do and love and where we want to improve and compete, where we want a better PR.

To me it is extremely empowering and energizing that I am competing against my PRs, against a version of myself as a son, brother, father, husband, boss, leader, entrepreneur, speaker, coach, man, a version that I want to improve to reach a new PERSONAL RECORD.
Do you want a better you?, stop competing against the others, review your personal records and start competing against yourself, work hard to get that new PR that will get you the best sense of accomplishment. I assure you will win without competing.

August 24, 2012

Guillermo Mendoza guillermo@impactcoachingsolutions.com +1(832)334-3583

Executive Coach, inspirational international speaker, insightful writer, engaging trainer, empowering individuals and organizations to transform getting the results they want faster and better.

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7 Things to learn from Teenagers doing Homework

We  have 3 teenagers at home and in spite of having all necessary resources to find answers for their homework they are lazy, or maybe they are smart, they look for the shortest, fastest route to the answer. They ask my wife and if she does not have the answer they ask me, and if I don’t have the answer they ask each other.

And only after those unsuccessful attempts to get help they have to do it by themselves and do some research on the internet or books.

When any of them knows the answer he or she gladly helps, they don’t think “this is mine I won’t give it to you”, there is no competition among them when it comes to doing the homework, and on the contrary they know that if they help today they will be helped tomorrow.

But as adults we have been taught to give answers and results and to be self reliant and independent, on top of that we have to come up with new innovative ideas in our jobs to do things. Therefore the last thing on our minds is ask others, we work in the opposite direction than teenagers, we try with no help at all, we research, we struggle with the problems and challenges on our own, and after several unsuccessful attempts to deal with something as a last resource and sometimes out of frustration we ask for help.

We go to others feeling a little embarrassed and thinking our pride will take a hit because we feel we are saying “I am not as good, you are better, I failed tell me how to do it”.

Our competitive nature does not help, because since we make everything a competition we need to be better than the others; and a symbol of that is we know more and have more experience so we are here to give answers not to ask for help. To do that would be a symbol of weakness.

In business it is common to see something that a company is doing better; it can be their advertising, their website, their sales strategy, their planning, and their operations. And when we find that something that could be useful for our company, something we admire, we first think “we need to research about that, or develop our own system, or find out how they are doing it rather than asking them”.

There are 7 things that we can learn from teenager’s laziness or smartness when doing homework:

  1. Forget about pride or competition and find the fastest route, ask how they are doing that? What tools do they use? What was the process? What would they do different? Who was their vendor? How did they find the answers?
  2. Ask your parents. Your last resource is to work on your own, first try with whom you think knows more than you. Like when they ask us thinking we will remember something we saw in school 30 years ago.
  3. Ask your siblings, those coworkers or companies that seem to be at the same level or lower than you might surprise you with their knowledge or experience in something you want to do.
  4. If your siblings don’t know ask your acquaintances. Go to the internet find what you are looking for and ask for help in the thousands of blogs, forums, twitters and resources available. Some of us like to help, you will find answers.
  5. Take breaks with the TV, basketball board or video games. Well not precisely but you got the point, when we take a break for a while and distract ourselves with something else, our mind keeps working and remains attentive for ideas in whatever we do that can help us. That is how those sudden solution and ideas come. Give your mind time to work.
  6. Don’t be selfish with your knowledge or best practices, nobody can copy or implement things in exactly the same way that you do and they have different people executing it. Even if they are a competitor there are enough customers for everybody.
  7. If I help you today you help me tomorrow. Remember to always offer help and advice, even unsolicited, it is a proven rule that you will receive in the same proportion that you give. I even became curious and am attentive to potential improvements in companies and professionals; and whenever possible I share them out loud, you never know when you can help somebody.

September 28, 2011

Guillermo Mendoza guillermo@impactcoachingsolutions.com +1(832)334-3583

Executive Coach, inspirational international speaker, insightful writer, engaging trainer, empowering individuals and organizations to transform getting the results they want faster and better.

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5 Life Lessons from the Trees

Change is one of my favorite topics, not only because I am convinced that no matter how stable things look, they are always changing; but also because I believe much of our suffering and struggling with life comes from not accepting or not dealing with change in the best way.

I am lucky to live in a very wooded city and as you drive by, there are so many trees that it is always hard to take a peek at the houses or even shopping plazas on the other side, everything is behind a never ending curtain of trees. And during this time of the year, fall in the northern hemisphere they are a living proof of change, cycles, death and renewal.

As they slowly have a partial death their leaves change from the green color little by little to yellow, if you watch closely you can find leaves that have both colors. It is a beautiful sight when some of them are completely covered by only yellow leaves. Then another change begins and these leaves start turning red and falling from the tree, again little by little until one day you see a tree completely naked without a single leave on its branches.

The other day a comment struck me, I listen to somebody say “look at how beautiful those trees look with their leaves completely yellow or red”, and I could not avoid thinking that what seemed a beautiful sight actually was a tree “dying” through the fall and winter to be reborn in spring.

What might create a beautiful and colorful image are actually dead leaves or in the process of dying and that made me think of 5 important lessons from trees that we should apply to our lives:

  1. Change is unavoidable, don’t fight nature, your body and your ideas are always changing, and dying, renewing and new ones will replace the old ones. Every day your body looses millions of dead cells and new ones replace them. Every day, or sometimes little by little your ideas about everything in the world are changing. Don’t get stuck allow change to happen in your life and in your ideas.
  2. Cycles are a part of life, sometimes you are colorful and bearing a lot of fruits, sometimes you are changing, losing your freshness and sometimes you feel completely naked with no fruits, no leaves, no ideas to offer; just recovering for a new cycle. Don’t try to be at your best all the time, cycles are the way your life works take advantage of them, identify then and let them be.
  3. You are part of a wood forest, sometimes your neighbor will be changing faster or slower, you are surrounded by all types of trees, but under the soil we are all nurturing from the same nutrients and we are all aiming to the same sky. Don’t get deceived by looks we are all the same. All human beings are looking for happiness it’s not just you, nobody is against you.
  4. It is never about the tallest or the wealthier or the one that stands apart, it is always about sharing and being part of something bigger, a part of a contribution to the life of others that allows you to renew cycle after cycle. The most rewarding lives are those where the highest achievement has been to influence people and help them have happier lives.
  5. When you die, you are just transforming and your life is the beautiful images that you left behind for others and what you shared with all beings around you. Work hard to make sure that in spite of your cycles and your downs, you are leaving behind beautiful images and ideas for your loved ones and for others. Make your life a passion for seasons, changes, transformations, and whatever you are remember you are who you are here and now…and you will change.

December 19, 2011

Guillermo Mendoza guillermo@impactcoachingsolutions.com +1(832)334-3583

Executive Coach, inspirational international speaker, insightful writer, engaging trainer, empowering individuals and organizations to transform getting the results they want faster and better.

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Anger: An Internal Enemy

Are you really in control? “This person really upsets me!” is a very common expression; the anger emotion arises when something or someone gets us off balance. This change from our “not angry” or relaxed state to an “angry” state, I would say, is not perceivable. Of course we know when we
are angry or very angry, but when we are aware we are already beyond the transition point from relaxed to angry. The anger energy is so strong that when it happens we don’t realize it, it is like a shock in which we gain awareness once we are well into the anger and in the strongest cases not even in that moment but after it goes away.

The causes of this shift can be many: something did not come off as we wanted; somebody did not follow our instructions, did or said something that bothers us, did not comply with a deadline or promise, or simply did not perform well.

Here, we are not going to analyze if the causing person or event is good or bad, that could be very subjective; but we are going to focus on the anger reaction, analyze its disadvantages and give a few tips that will help us modify this reaction in our benefit.

When anger arises there is a chain of events: the event itself, our perception of it, what we think about it and finally the anger feeling. But these events happen so fast that we only perceive something that we dislike and then our emotion could go from a light upsetting all the way to
an explosive energy that makes us yell, turn red and even physically attack a person with strong gestures.

How strong this is and to what degree it takes control over us that is not rare to hear somebody refer to her last anger attack with phrases like: “I was not myself…”, “I could not recognize myself…” or “I was out of me…”

Think for a moment on what we are looking for with the anger. Lets ask first does anger makes me happy? And though the obvious answer is no, we have to analyze it because if we keep getting angry we are getting some pleasure even if it is temporal. Sometimes anger arises from a fear
emotion and gives us a power feeling that allows us to overcome the fear.

Perhaps anger gives us the pleasure of power, of being in control of people, because the one more angry and yelling more in an specific situation could feel that is the one subjugating the other and
therefore more powerful; and power has always maintained its appeal among us. But we have to admit that anger gives us various upsetting states that make it impossible to coexist with true happiness.

At the bottom of the event there is a strong communication need, if something did not go as we would have liked is because we were not clear enough, somebody ignored our desires and expectations and therefore with the anger we have the illusion to establish a much more clear
communication. At the end of a good fight we say: “I told him what he was made of¡”, “I put her in her place!”, and other expressions that confirm that anger allowed us to give a more firm message.

But if we analyze what happens to communication during the fight, ironically communications deteriorates pretty bad, a person caught by anger can get so upset that his phrases and yelling is completely disarticulated and does not achieve to express himself good, and ends converting the event in a total communication failure, the receptor gets scared, closes and basically is NOT listening because his mind is focused on one or various of the following options: to think about the arguments to defend herself and counterattack, to think how he can fix the situation, or simply to observe the big show the other part is performing in front of her, but in none of these
cases he is a good listener.

A need of communication implies a need of closeness. Curiously as we are more close to the person that “creates” our anger, more freedom we give ourselves to yell at him, insult her or hurting him as part of the process causing exactly the opposite to what we want: distance. It is a mystery why we can mistreat more the people we love more and control ourselves and respect more the people we do not love that much.

How can we detect the anger, reduce its effects and work little by little to get rid of this emotion that is clearly not achieving our goals?
The first tip is understand the sequence of events that creates the anger, the feeling of anger comes from a thought, and this though comes from a perception we have about an event or person; when we notice that this feeling starts to arise, make it a habit to stop and ask yourself, what am I thinking that causes this emotion?, what am I perceiving as negative that caused in me this thought?, what was the attack, frustration or deception?, am I going to correct something about it with this anger and all its related behaviors? Or am I going in the opposite direction of my goal to
communicate more clearly why this is not good for me.

When we notice our anger, is useful to think what do I want to communicate? This helps us to relax or to look for a better moment to do it. We can also imagine that we are a movie star constantly under the eye of a camera either working or because we cannot get rid of the paparazzi and think
how am I going to feel later when I see a filmed video of my anger attack?, in it we will have of course our face altered, red face, our hands will be in the air creating all types of gestures and our yelling will be completely intimidating. Is this video clip a source of pride? will we feel good when
watching those scenes?, or will it be something embarrassing and terrifying in which we will confirm the phrase “I do not recognize myself, I was not myself in that moment…”

These phrase only confirms that the anger energy has such a power that it totally takes over our control, our essential being is removed and we are not longer owners of ourselves, we do and say things that we would not want to do or say if we were owners of the situation.

How do we solve it? How do we get rid of all these people, all these situations that attack us and make us lose control?, Well, going that road would be a useless task, we would never finish getting rid of people or situations that bother us, are frustrating or disappointing, that is not the way to go.

But there is a way to work on getting rid of anger and it is first to understand that is an internal and not an external enemy; the real enemies are not the persons or situations that are annoying or that we consider are not fulfilling our expectations, these persons are not intrinsically negatives, proof of that is the fact that in some other moment or circumstances they could have been nice or neutral to us.

The root of the what is bothering us and the frustration and therefore the root of the anger is what we think about it, the enemy is not out, it is the thought that creates the emotion and the thoughts
are inside our mind, they should come from us and we should be their owners, but if we do not cultivate patience they will take the control.

So next time that angers arise or you get close to it, take a deep breath and ask yourself: my reaction will allow me to communicate better what I want to this person?, does it gets me close to him?, does it contributes to improve the situation?, my personal video clip will show a patient and in control person or a fuming livid person?, am I going to allow something or someone to take over my control? May be if you practice, you will get surprised with the results.

April 21, 2010

Guillermo Mendoza guillermo@impactcoachingsolutions.com +1(832)334-3583

Executive Coach, motivational speaker, writer, trainer, empowering individuals and organizations to transform getting the results they want faster and better.

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