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2 Key Steps to Manage Your Predicaments

a-better-life-654x3791I am a firm believer of goals, plans and actions, I am convinced that if I have not gotten something in life, it is because I have not had the discipline to implement a good plan to get it, I think that is empowering. But I also recognize that sometimes some of our energy gets lost on trying to change something that will not change.

 

We have so many popular phrases or sayings to help us accept things and be complacent, like: “Everything is as it should be”, or “Things happen for a reason”, or “It is God’s will”. I am not discarding any of these; actually I think all of them are pretty valid and true.

 

Where I believe we fail is when we do not have a firm position, of either accepting it or fighting it, switching back and forth between I will do something and there is nothing to do will not help your cause. When we face challenges or difficult situations in our life we need to start handling them with a clear and definite assessment: Can this be changed? Can I do something about it?

 

Instead of asking (and answering those questions) sometimes we start the useless dance between frustration, anxiety and impotence; and worriedness, sadness and low energy action. But the better formula to solve your predicaments is to follow, with firm conviction, these 2 elements: acceptance and action.

 

Can this be changed? If the answer is no then acceptance is your word: “Everything is as it should be”, or “Things happen for a reason”, or “It is God’s will”, stop fighting the situation and accept that it is what it is.  Now you are not off the hook, your acceptance action is to start thinking if you want to stay in that unchangeable situation or what things you can do in the future to be able to answer “Yes, it can be changed”, only then will you be able to stop acceptance and move to the next question.

 

Can I do something about it? If the answer is no, same situation, acceptance is your word and exactly the same process applies, your acceptance action is to start thinking on what are the things that you can change in yourself to be able to do something about it?, only when you can answer “Yes, I can do something about it” you are ready for real action. If it can change and if you can change it, then you now have all of the power, no more acceptance, it is about goal, plan and disciplined execution.

 

Now this is the tricky part, our present moment, our changing reality is never a standing still moment, think about it, the second you are living your present it becomes the past and your next second arrives from the future with your new present, in a blink of an eye.

 

Top performers, leaders, achievers, champions, enlightened fulfilled beings are those that manage to split every second of their precious moments in life in 2 parts: the present moment where they accept everything is as it should be, and the present moment where assessing the situation they take action to think, talk or act with whatever is needed to create better futures.

 

May be the skill to split a second is going to take you some time, but a good beginning is to start splitting your challenges, problems, predicaments in two parts: acceptance and action.

 

“Transforming organizations by energizing your people and getting results.”

Guillermo Mendoza is a business development strategist, speaker and writer. He is passionate about sharing the tools and experiences that he has helping executive leaders and their teams by creating consciousness, developing leadership and getting results.

Available for international engagements in: English, Spanish or Portuguese.

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How to let go of fear of new beginnings?

recomenzarEvery time we start a new project we have the excitement of what it implies: new challenges, new experiences, new horizons; but we also have the anxiety that stems from being afraid of the unknown, success, uncertainty and fear of failure.

 

There is a natural reaction in the mind to travel to the future and imagine everything that this new adventure will give us if we are successful, maybe financial benefits, maybe improved relationships, maybe a sense of accomplishment, maybe a new physical look, or the peace that comes from solving a problem or reaching a goal.

 

This reaction takes us to focus more on the things that we are missing and that in theory when we accomplish this new project we will get.

 

What we do not always think about in these cases is what we already have, what we already are. Our eagerness of continuous improvement or growth takes us to sometimes focus too much on what is coming and not giving time to review what already happened.

 

Great philosophers and mystical teachers have declared that we are already perfect, that things are already as they should be and that the only thing we are missing is an understanding of these concepts. Without attempting to play philosopher with these concepts, I believe we always want and should improve, I think it is unavoidable that our mind travels to the future and imagines things and thoughts of a better life in one way or other. But I also think it is important to understand that by definition improvement is to take something from one state to another, but that does not imply that the current state is bad.

 

In Coaching we say that a Coach helps a person to find a better version of him or her, we do not say to find a good version implying that the current one is bad. Actually the opposite is happening, more and more Executive and Life Coaching are focusing on improving someone that is already pretty good.

 

It is important to use this concept and realize that when we start new projects even when the goal is improvement (I do not think anybody starts a project to be worse at something); it is very important to remember that we are already ok, that our current situation whatever it is, is a privileged one because we have a life to work with and achieve what we want, because we have roots and family that with all its virtues and defects is a part of us and because every day no matter where we are, we are already here with plenty to be grateful for.

 

The list is endless, from basic things that we take for granted like energy and water or clothing and meals that are not that granted for many people, to the privilege of education, reading, and personal growth. And lets not forget the most important, our relationships with all the people that we love and that love us back or with those that we consider distant but help us or give us a chance to help.

 

A fast review of the past gives you all the elements to realize how fortunate you are and how even the worse things in your life have given you the greatest learning and how today your strengths come from those sufferings.

 

When I reflect on all of this I cannot avoid having a profound gratitude for what I already have and for what I already am, regardless of what I am going to do or be.

 

Every day we are creating a new version of ourselves, every day we are a different person, every day our projects move us forward, but lets not forget where we are already.

 

If you achieve a true satisfaction in what you already have and are, I believe you will be getting one of the best ingredients to achieve something new: the security that you are already good and the confidence that you can be better. With this ingredient there are no failures, no fears because whatever happens with the project you have the awareness that it is all about improving something that is already good: you.

 

All anxiety, all uncertainty and all fear that implies starting something will diminish when you internalize the satisfaction of knowing you are lucky here and now.

 

My best wishes for your 2014 projects and as you start them remember: “You are ok, you are already lucky with what you have and what you are, gratitude and satisfaction are your starting point”

 

“Transforming organizations by energizing your people and getting results.”

Guillermo Mendoza is a business development strategist, speaker and writer. He is passionate about sharing the tools and experiences that he has helping executive leaders and their teams by creating consciousness, developing leadership and getting results.

Available for international engagements in: English, Spanish or Portuguese.

Guillermo Mendoza guillermo@icscoaching.com (832)334-3583

 

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¡Cómo ser exitoso en el 2014!

successful_woman11Mi nombre es Guillermo Mendoza y mi visión es ayudar a tanta gente como pueda a ser exitosa. Como muchas cosas el éxito es algo subjetivo y es algo diferente para cada persona, pero ya sea que quieras éxito en tu carera, en tus relaciones, trabajo, negocios, como padre o en el amor; siempre se trata de tener ese agradable sentimiento de que logramos algo, esa satisfacción, esa sonrisa en tu cara felicitándote por lo bueno o buena que eres, por como el éxito decidió ser parte de ti.

Todos tenemos nuestras fórmulas del éxito, nuestra definición de lo que funciona y lo que no funciona, y ellas están integradas como parte de nuestras opiniones, pensamientos y sistema de creencias; y equivocadamente creemos que al usar nuestra “arma secreta” lograremos estar delante de los demás y lograr el éxito. La ironía es que precisamente lo opuesto es lo que crea más éxito. Aquellos que se vuelven un libro abierto y comparten sus trucos ayudando a otros son vistos como expertos, gurús, aquellos que saben como atacar problemas específicos y ayudar a otros a través de Coaching, asesoría, consultoría, conferencias o libros, y que lo hacen a través de estar disponibles y hacer su conocimiento disponible para otros.

No puedo pensar en una manera mas exitosa de empezar el año que establecer nuestras metas de éxito con la disciplina de considerar que es lo que les va a tomar convertirlas en un éxito. Cualquier nueva aventura requiere recursos de tiempo, quizás dinero, esfuerzo y desde luego la actitud de perseverancia para alcanzar el éxito. Pero para que el éxito suceda, se requiere una buena estrategia y mi propuesta para tu estrategia del 2014 es que estés disponible para otros y hagas tu conocimiento disponible a otros.

Todos tenemos nuestros trucos, ‘armas secretas” , y técnicas probadas que para esto o aquello nos han dado éxito en el pasado. Revisa lo que has hecho, lo que has dicho, lo que has pensado cuando has sido exitoso y compártelo; ayuda a otros a ser exitosos y por una rara reacción en cadena tú te vas a volver más exitoso.

Yo considero egoísta no compartir nuestras formulas del éxito y el egoísmo no es una buena manera de empezar el nuevo año ¿no crees?. Adopta el arte de compartir tu conocimiento y aun mejor el arte de compartir tu ayuda, tu estímulo y tu amor; y créeme la vida te pagará compartiendo el éxito contigo.

“Transformando organizaciones energizando a su gente y obteniendo resultados.”
Guillermo Mendoza es un estratega de desarrollo de negocios, conferencista y escritor. Su pasión es compartir las herramientas y experiencias que tiene ayudando a líderes ejecutivos y a sus equipos creando conciencia, desarrollando liderazgo y obteniendo resultados.
Disponible para presentaciones internacionales en Inglés, Español y Portugués.
Guillermo Mendoza guillermo@icscoaching.com (832)334-3583

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¿Cómo perderle el miedo a los nuevos comienzos?

Siempre que iniciamos algún nuevo proyecto tenemos la excitación de lo que va a implicar: nuevos retos, nuevas experiencias, nuevos horizontes; pero también tenemos la ansiedad que provoca el temor a lo desconocido, la incertidumbre del éxito y el miedo al fracaso.
Hay una reacción natural de la mente a viajar al futuro y pensar en todo lo que nos dará esta nueva aventura si tenemos éxito, tal vez serán beneficios económicos, tal vez relaciones que mejoran, tal vez un sentido de logro, tal vez un nuevo aspecto físico, o la paz que dará el haber salido de un problema, o el haber alcanzado una meta.
Esta reacción nos lleva a enfocarnos mas a lo que nos falta y que en parte al lograr ese nuevo proyecto en teoría obtendremos.
Lo que no siempre pensamos en estos casos es lo que ya tenemos, lo que ya somos. Nuestro afán de mejora continua o de superación nos lleva a veces a enfocarnos demasiado a lo que viene sin dedicar tiempo a revisar lo que ya paso.
Pero grandes filósofos y maestros místicos han declarado que ya somos perfectos, que las cosas ya son como deben de ser y que lo único que falta es que lo entendamos. Sin tratar de filosofar con estos conceptos creo que siempre queremos y debemos mejorar, creo que es inevitable que nuestra mente viaje al futuro e imagine cosas y surjan ideas de una vida mejor en uno u otro sentido. Pero también creo que es importante entender que por definición mejorar es llevar algo de un estado a otro pero eso no implica que el estado actual sea malo.
En el Coaching decimos que un Coach ayuda a una persona a encontrar una mejor versión de si mismo, no decimos a encontrar una versión buena de si mismo, implicando que la actual es mala. Al contrario el Coaching mas y mas se enfoca a mejorar algo que ya es bueno entre ejecutivos y en Coaching de vida también.
Creo que es importante usar este concepto y darnos cuenta que cuando emprendemos cosas nuevas aunque el objetivo siempre es una mejora (porque no creo que nadie emprenda proyectos para estar peor en algo); es muy importante recordar que ya estamos bien, que nuestra situación actual sea cual sea es privilegiada porque tenemos una vida con la cual trabajar en lo que queramos, porque tenemos una familia que con sus virtudes y defectos es parte de nosotros, y porque cada día sin importar donde estamos, ya estamos aquí con muchísimas cosas que agradecer.
La lista es interminable, desde cosas básicas que damos por automáticas como luz y agua o como ropa y alimentos que no son tan automáticos para mucha gente, hasta los privilegios de la educación, la lectura, y la superación personal. Y no olvidemos lo mas importante las relaciones de toda la gente que queremos y nos quiere o de aquellos que aunque consideramos lejanos nos ayudan directa o indirectamente en esta vida o nos dan la oportunidad de ayudar.
Una rápida revisión del pasado te da todos los elementos para darte cuenta de lo afortunado que eres y de cómo aun las peores cosas en tu vida te han dado los mayores aprendizajes y hoy tus fortalezas provienen de esos golpes.
Cuando reflexiono en todo esto no puedo evitar tener un profundo agradecimiento por lo que ya tengo y por lo que ya soy, independientemente de lo que vaya a hacer y ser.
Cada día vamos formando una nueva versión de nosotros mismos, cada día somos una persona diferente, cada día nuestros proyectos nos llevan hacia delante, pero no olvidemos donde ya estamos.
Si logras una verdadera satisfacción en lo que ya tienes y eres, creo que estarás obteniendo uno de los mejores ingredientes para lograr algo nuevo: la seguridad de que ya eres bueno y la confianza de que puedes ser mejor. Con este ingrediente no hay fracasos, ni miedos porque pase lo que pase con el proyecto tienes mayor conciencia de que todo es acerca de mejorar algo que ya es bueno: tu.
Toda la ansiedad, toda la incertidumbre y todo el miedo que implica iniciar algo se disminuyen cuando internalizas la satisfacción de saberte afortunado aquí y ahora.
Mis mejores deseos para tus proyectos 2014, y antes de iniciarlos recuerda: “Ya estás bien, ya eres muy afortunado con lo que tienes y eres, agradecimiento y satisfacción son tu punto de partida”

“Transformando organizaciones energizando a su gente y obteniendo resultados.”
Guillermo Mendoza es un estratega de desarrollo de negocios, conferencista y escritor. Su pasión es compartir las herramientas y experiencias que tiene ayudando a líderes ejecutivos y a sus equipos creando conciencia, desarrollando liderazgo y obteniendo resultados.
Disponible para presentaciones internacionales en Inglés, Español y Portugués.
Guillermo Mendoza guillermo@icscoaching.com (832)334-3583

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How to be successful in 2014!

My name is Guillermo Mendoza and I am the speaker for success, I dubbed myself that way because my vision is to help as many people as I can to succeed. As most things success is subjective and it is different for each person, but whether you want success in your career, relationships, job, business, child raising or love, it is always about having that nice feeling of accomplishment and self fulfillment, that grin on your face silently congratulating yourself for how good you are, how success decided to be a part of you.

We all have our success formulas, our definition of what works and what does not, and they are engrained as part of our opinions, thoughts and belief system, and wrongly sometimes we believe that by using our “secret weapon” we will be ahead of others and achieve that success. The irony is that it is precisely the opposite that creates more success. Those who became an open book and share their tricks helping others are seen as the experts, the gurus, the ones that know how to tackle a specific problem and help others with success by coaching, counseling, mentoring, speaking, writing; by being available and making their knowledge available.

I cannot think of a more successful way to start the year than to establish our success goals with the discipline in mind of what it would take to become a success. Any new endeavor will require resources of time, may be money, effort and of course a perseverant attitude to reach success. But for success to happen, a good strategy is required and my proposal for your 2014 strategy is to be available and make your knowledge available.

We all have our tricks, our “secret weapons”, and our proven techniques that for this or that have given us success in the past. Review what you did, what you said, what you thought when you were being successful and share it; help others to succeed and by a weird chain reaction you will become more successful.

I consider it selfish not to share our success formulas and selfishness is not a good way to start the New Year don’t you think? Embrace the art of sharing your knowledge and the even better art of sharing your help, your encouragement, and your love; and believe me life will pay you back by sharing success with you.

“Transforming organizations by energizing your people and getting results.”

Guillermo Mendoza is a business development strategist, speaker and writer. He is passionate about sharing the tools and experiences that he has helping executive leaders and their teams by creating consciousness, developing leadership and getting results.

Available for international engagements in: English, Spanish or Portuguese.

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